Meeting a match for the first time: a safety checklist for Lagos, Abuja and beyond

You’ve matched, the conversation is flowing, and you’re ready to meet. That’s exciting. A little planning makes it safer, and it also makes it more relaxed, because you can focus on the person in front of you instead of worrying about how you’ll get home.

Here’s our checklist. Save it, share it with a friend, and use what works for you.

Before you agree to meet

• Check for the verified badge. It means they passed a live face check against their photos. It doesn’t tell you everything about a person, but it does tell you they look like their pictures.
• Have a video call first. Even five minutes on video tells you a lot. Someone who keeps finding reasons not to video call is a red flag.
• Keep chatting on Amara until you meet. If anything goes wrong, you can report them with the conversation as evidence. You don’t need to rush to swap numbers.
• Notice how they talk to you. Are they respectful when you say no to something? Do they pressure you to meet somewhere private, or to meet today? Pressure is a warning sign.
• Never send money, for transport fare or anything else. If they ask, report them.

Choosing where and when

• Pick a busy public place you know: a café, a restaurant, a mall, a busy park in the daytime. In Lagos, that might be somewhere you already go on the Island or the Mainland. In Abuja, a busy spot you know well. Choose somewhere with other people around and staff nearby.
• Meet in the daytime or early evening for a first date, so getting home is easier.
• Don’t meet at their house, your house, or a hotel. Not for a first date, however nice they seem.
• Plan your route with traffic in mind. A late, stressed arrival is no fun. Give yourself time.

Tell someone, with Share My Date

• Use Share My Date. In the app, go to Settings → Share my date, pick who you’re meeting, add the place and time, and enter the number of someone you trust. We send them a text with the details. (We store only the last 4 digits of their number.)
• Agree a check-in time with your friend: for example, “If I haven’t texted you by 8, call me.”
• Agree a code word you can text if you want them to call you with an “emergency” so you can leave.

Getting there and back

• Get there yourself. Use your own car, a ride-hailing app or a taxi you trust. Don’t let a first date pick you up from your house.
• If you use a ride-hailing app, check that the plate number and driver match the app before you get in, and use the app’s trip-sharing feature to send your ride to your friend.
• Charge your phone fully and carry a power bank if you can.
• Have airtime and data, and enough money of your own to get home. Don’t depend on your date to pay for your ride.
• Know the area, or look it up before you go, including where you’ll wait for your ride home.

On the date

• Keep an eye on your drink. Order it yourself, watch it being made if you can, and don’t leave it alone. If you step away, order a new one.
• Know your limits. Staying clear-headed helps you notice things and make good choices.
• Keep your personal details to yourself for now: your home address, where you work, your daily routine. There’s time for that once you know someone.
• Trust your instincts. If something feels off, you can leave. You don’t owe anyone an explanation, and you don’t have to finish your meal.
• Don’t go somewhere else with them on a first date, especially somewhere private, even if the date is going well.

Afterwards

• Text your friend that you’re home safe.
• If something went wrong, report them in the app. Choose the closest reason and add a short note. Reporting also blocks them, and a person on our team reviews every report.
• If it just wasn’t a match, that’s fine. You can unmatch at any time, which ends the conversation for both of you.

If you are in danger

Call 112 from any phone. It’s the emergency number in Nigeria and works from mobile phones. In Lagos, you can also call 767. The Safety Center in the app lists emergency numbers and tips.

Your safety matters more than anyone’s feelings, including your date’s. A good match will understand.